My Daily Rant

Sake sucks. I am going to get that out of the way before I even continue writing this rant. It is a lot of fun but it sucks. I am WAITING for the headache that I am going to get when I wake up tomorrow. Actually no, I never get hang overs.

I am not going to ween off of Facebook in order to move to Blogspot because it is ridiculous to leave something that is currently working. However, I will post on both so you people can choose whatever suites your individual selfish styles. The site is www.jacqsdailyrants.blogspot.com so please try not to become aroused when you click to read it.

I tend to have that effect on people.

Now let us zoom into the dark space known as my rant…

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

That disclaimer is the only reason I am not deceased right now. Seriously.

Have you ever drove up to the gas station and asked for 5 dollars worth of gas? I have and I do not feel embarrassed by it at all. I feel that my money should be good no matter where I choose to shop even if it be Kmart or a gun store in Alabama (they let you use shopping carts there). Being the perfect college student allows me to emulate a homeless person. I never have money unless it is for something I DO NOT need.

Before I dive into that segment of today’s one-sided conversation, I want each of you to check your wallet. If the wallet you are holding has less than 30 dollars in it, you are broke. Credit cards do not count because smart kids should not be using them anyway.

Being broke has become the way of the student next to cramming, drunkenness, and watching a girl slowly deteriorate into a slut over an entire year. College students are the soul reason why foods such as Raemen noodles, pizza, and stale Chinese Food reign rampant amongst the other better and healthier foods. These foods are cheap and perfect for cheap college students and completely laxative free.

A college student is the person that hates going out to eat with a group of people because no matter how hard you try the check is ALWAYS short. We are the same group of people that haggle in a New York City cab even though the fee is displayed BLATENTLY right in front of you behind his turban or through his dreads. The people that made Natural Ice a popular beer and Georgi the vodka of choice. That is we college students.

You ever notice how schools will offer to buy your books back for 2% of what you bought them for and you do not hesitate to sell them and spend the money; but next semester you are scrambling to FIND enough money to purchase books? We do not save for anything.

As I stated before, we always have the money to purchase things we do NOT need. For example, you need money for food because you have traveled to the crappy dining hall enough during that day. Instead of using the money you have to eat, you would rather save it to get drunk at night. If you do not drink, you would save it to watch your friends drink or to hang out with your friends. If your parents pay for your books you inflate the actual amount that you need just in order to get a little extra money in your pocket. Payday (or lack there-of) is the greatest day of the week and everyone is happy; you would think it was the first of the month in the ghetto’s. That is the day you muster up enough courage to be denied by the girl that you stare at everyday in your class even though when the semester is over you will not see them EVER again.

Do you know those sites with cheap date ideas? That was made by a college student and the most common excuse for not going out is, “I am broke”.

Wahoo this will be the best four years of my life.